Communication Breakdown
First day back at school. Its always kind of a surreal day with the summer coming to a close and the new school year just beginning. New classes, new opportunities to meet new friends and reunite with old ones. Parents are frantically trying to get on the road before five o’clock traffic starts to build up. Friends are greeting each other after a long summer of not seeing them. Friends give over enthusiastic greetings and end up rolling on the floor, laughing so hard they both start to cry. Everyone is running around giving hugs hello and hugs goodbye. Daughters and sons stand and wave as their parents drive away.
That is everyone except Mandy. Every year it’s the same thing. She gets overlooked. Her parents don’t drive her to school; she drives herself. She packs all of her things into her 1993 Ford Taurus and heads off to school. They aren’t even there to say goodbye. When she gets to school, she is overlooked yet again. No one hugs her. No one greets her. Most people don’t recognize her. Every year she is asked if she is a transfer. She always mumbles, “I might as well be.” No one ever notices.
Mandy grew up in an extremely conservative household. She was never allowed to listen to popular music, only classical. She was not allowed to watch popular television, only PBS. She was not allowed to play sports; they were not lady-like. She was not allowed to hang out with boys. It was improper. She was not allowed to hang out girls who were even a day older than her. They might be bad influences. She was not allowed to read anything that her parents had not read, but they never had time to read. She was not allowed to wear “provocative” clothing. Her shirt had to be tucked in at all times. Her hair had to be pulled back and tied in a bun and make-up was out of the question.
She was a very quiet girl with very little to say. Her response to anything she was ever asked was, “I don’t know.” She never had anything to contribute to a conversation. Always having a look of distaste and judgment on her face, no one ever wanted to talk to her.
Looking around at all of the smiling faces and hugging bodies, she wanted more out of life than getting by and being unnoticed. She wanted that acceptance, that embrace by society as well as her peers. She so longed to belong with the girls who let their hair down, wore make-up, jewelry, and tight fitting clothes. She so longed for people to want to be her friend.
She went up to her single room, which was already completely setup because she had no interruptions while she was unpacking. As she looked around, at her perfectly made bed, she thought more and more about starting over this year.
I will not graduate with out going to a party! I will not graduate with out having a boyfriend, or friends for that matter!
As she pondered this thought further, she saw everyone happy and friendly and Mandy was still Mandy. One day while she was walking to class, she tripped on a brick on the sidewalk. Bags, books, pens and shoes went flying. I must have looked like a piñata. Mortified, she tried to hold back the tears. As she frantically tried to get all of her things picked up, Bobby, from her Communications 220 class stopped to help her. As he bent down, he looked at her and smiled that make your knees melt smile and said, “It’s ok, kiddo. I did it three days ago. But I was holding I cup of coffee, so I came out of it looking like I had a sever problem finding the restroom.”
Mandy started to laugh, but stopped herself, like she always did. If I start talking he’ll just think I’m dumb and never talk to me again. He looked at her and looked away, as if he was hiding something. She stayed quite the rest of the time they were picking up the books. He tried to ask her how her summer was but she simply dismissed the question. He asked what classes she was taking, she pointed to her schedule laying at his feet. She said thanks and walked away, with an attitude that seemed to say, “Thanks but I didn’t really need your help.”
A week later Mandy was walking through her dorm on her way to see Michelle about a paper for their Comm. class. It was about how you learn as you are growing and how it effects how you communicate with others for the rest of your life. Mandy started to wonder about how she learned to communicate, because obviously she did not do a very good job now. “I bet my parents messed me up. They wouldn’t let me do so many things. If I was only allowed to….” She started making a list of all of the things in her life that could possibly be her parents’ fault. Completely lost in thoughts, Mandy ran straight into Bobby who was coming out of Pat and Billy’s room. O no! Not again! Mandy thought as she looked him in the eye. Those gorgeous, smiling eyes. He caught her with his hands before she had a chance to really run into him. I never noticed how strong he was, she thought as he held her for just a moment. He smiled at her and said, “Easy there killer. You ok?” She could not compose herself enough to come up with an intelligible sentence. All that came out was, “Ha, ha, ha fine, me klutz.” She giggled nervously and sheepishly scampered down the hallway.
Why am I so dumb! He was holding me in his arms and that’s all I could come up with to say? Wow I really am a loser!
Chance encounters between Bobby and Mandy happened more and more frequently. A few days after the run-in in the hall, she almost ran into him in the quad because she had been reading James Joyce and was pondering why he had to make everything so difficult to understand and have ten different meanings for everything. He was playing football with Pat and Andrew when all of a sudden there she was again. She realized that she was about to run into him and stopped in mid stride. She looked at him as if she was a deer caught in the headlights of an on coming car: petrified and mortified. He looked at her mouth open as if about to say something when she blurted out, “Beautiful day for a stroll in the quad,” and walked as fast as she could toward her class.
A stroll in the quad! How stupid can I be! Am I 22 or 82? I’m such a loser!
As Mandy checked her Facebook that night to her complete surprise, she had a message in her inbox. I never have messages. She clicked where the screen said inbox. The link said, “Bobby Ballard.” I don’t get it. Why is he messaging me? The message said:
Hey Mandy.
So a couple of people and I are going to a party this Friday night and I was just wondering if you would like to come with us? I mean…if not I totally understand. I mean you probably already have plans. But if you don’t I think we could have fun. I think you would have fun.
Mandy read the note again, and again, and again. She even closed the window and opened it again. She could not believe what she was reading. Wait…is this a joke? Why on earth would he want ME to go to a party with him? The only time I have ever talked to him is in Comm. class and when run into him. The more she thought about it, the more confused she got. She thought about the deal she had made with herself at the beginning of the year and this was a chance to go to a college party and go on a date, with a very cute boy, who for some reason wanted to take her out. She considered all of the possibilities and out comes of saying yes and no.
If I say no, I could be missing out on a great opportunity. This boy for what ever reason wants to take me out. And let’s face it, my reputation could not get and worse so I really don’t have anything to loose by saying yes, but everything to loose by saying no. I mean who knows, I might end up having a great time.
She finally sat down at the computer and wrote:
Bobby,
If this is a joke it is really not funny. I don’t really understand why you are asking me to go with you. But I don’t have any plans yet of Friday and would love to go to the party with you. My number is 543-698-2450. Call me or text me later.
Not even 20 minutes after she had sent the message, she heard her text tone go off on her phone. She ignored it for a minute while she finished reading the last pages of Go Down Moses, but she was so excited the whole time she only caught about every other word of what she read. She picked the phone up, without finishing the book, which she NEVER did. She always finished her books before she started anything else.
She opened the phone so slowly that it was barely moving. She couldn’t look! After what seemed like two years, she finally opened the phone. The message read:
Hey u! I’m so glad that you don’t have ne other plans if u want we can go to dinner b4 and then head out to the party. Its at TJ’s house. Look hot! I know you have it in you! Jk u always look beautiful. Pick u up at ur room at 7 on fri? I can’t wait!
Mandy sat there on her futon for five minutes, not able to move! He called me beautiful!! Ahh! She read the text over and over!
When Friday night finally came Mandy stood in front of her closet. It was full of brown tweed skirts and long sleeve shirts. There were two pink shirts, but they were cotton and stained from when she worked on the habitat house last year. Her jeans wear all faded and not date worthy.
What am I going to do!! I have nothing to wear! If I wear any of my clothes he will never take me out of my room!!!
As she stood in front her bare, boring closet, she heard knock at her door. She looked at her watch. 5:37.
Why is he here so early!!!! O God!!
Looking through the peephole, she saw Brandy and Megan, two of Bobby’s best friends.
What are THEY doing here?
They were holding three bulging bags. She could see one bag stuffed with skirts and tops. The other two looked like curling irons and make-up.
She didn’t even get a chance to say hello. As she opened the door, the two girls pushed the door open knocking Mandy into the wall. She stood there in her drown tweed skirt and loose clashing brown knit sweater. Her hair was tied back I a perfect bun. There was not a spot of make-up on her face. The girls looked at each other and nodded.
“Let's get to work! We only have an hour and half until Bobby gets here.”
Mandy stood there lost in the whirlwind that was going on around her. They started poking and prodding at her. They took her desk chair into the bathroom and placed it in front of the mirror.
Brandy stood in front of Mandy’s closet with a look of horror on her face.
“I’ve never seen so much tweed and brown in one place in my life.”
She almost seemed amused that Mandy had no clothes to go out in, no make-up and no curling iron.
“No problem, we figured as much! We brought supplies,” Megan said holding up the bags. They got straight to work.
“Why are you doing this?” Mandy managed to blurt out in between lip gloss tests and having to suck in her cheeks for blush application. They looked at each other for a moment. Finally Megan said,
“Because, for some reason, whatever that might be, Bobby wants you. And we love Bobby. We just want him to happy, and if that means playing dress-up with you, well then that’s what we are going to do!”
Thoughts of why he likes her started to race through her head.
What if he really does? Why? Why me? God why me? Mandy stop it! You are being dumb! Maybe he actually likes you or just wants to get to know you. Maybe he’s crazy! O God, what if he’s crazy!
The girls poked and prodded for the next hour. She had never seen so many outfits, much less so much make-up in her life. They tried halter tops, tube tops, tank tops, dresses, skirts, jeans, and all of the shoes they brought. They used foundation, an array of colors of eye shadows, eyeliners, and blushes.
“Perfect!” High-fiving, Brandy and Megan looked as their masterpiece, “Let’s get out of here before Bobby gets here.” Brandy turned to Mandy, who up until that point had been too scared to look “It’s ok! Hunny you look GREAT!!”
As the girls walked out, she hugged and thanked them. In the hour, the girls had bonded. Turns out, they have more in common than they thought. Brandy and Megan had both come from similar families and had learned when they came to college, that it was time to become their own people and discover themselves.
Knock. Knock. Knock. 6:45. He’s early! O God! He’s early! Thank God they left early!!
She still hadn’t had the courage to look in the mirror. She figured his reaction is all that mattered. When she opened the door, his jaw dropped. Speechless he muttered, “Wow…you look…wow!”
Grinning from ear to ear, she said, “Oh, thanks. I got ready in like 5 minutes.” The girls told her to say that right before they walked out the door. They told her to be “coy,” whatever that meant. They said not to let on that she liked him and to play it “cool.” She had never been very good at playing it cool, but she was willing to try.
“Let me grab my purse and I’ll be right out.”
Ok, I have to look.
After she shut the door, she opened her wardrobe door that had a full length mirror. Stunned. She did not recognize herself.
I look hot!! Wow! They really did it!
She looked at herself head to toe, from her outlined eyes and light pink eye shadow, to her lips, so glossy. Her hair was curled at the ends. She was wearing a black tank top with a swooping neckline, perfectly complimented by a long silver chain with a pink pendent on the end. They had chosen slightly faded jeans and complimented them with a silver belt to match the silver pumps they had put on her feet. She had never felt more confident in her entire life.
As she rustled her hair and flipped it over her shoulder, she had the theme song to “Rocky” stuck in her head, which she had watched on TV for the first time the night before.
Tonight is my night! This is my fight!
She laughed out loud at the absurdity over picturing herself in a boxing match. She shook her arms and legs, as if she was going in to the ring.
Round one!
She stepped out the door, to a very patient, very charming boy, waiting for her.
Ok, so I know what most of you are thinking: why would I want to go out with her? The truthful answer is it started out as a bet. The boys and I were bored one day in study hall and thought it would be fun project to see if I could get the most awkward, most rigid girl on campus to go out with me. It started out as a game and became a lifestyle.
Truthfully, I set-up every run-in we had. Billy threw a branch in front of her to make her trip, when he knew she was lost in thought would not notice. I saw that she was coming down the hall and I stepped out into the hall so that she would run into me. I told Pat to throw a long pass when I saw her walking toward us.
When she was giving me no response, I decided to ask her out. It seemed like the logical thing to do, at the time. I half expected her to say no.
Now, I had nothing to do with the girls doing her make-up; that was their own project and little bit of fun with the bet. They came to my room when they were done and were in awe of how good of a job they had done. I didn’t believe them and I couldn’t wait to see it with my own eyes.
That first night, when she opened the door, I knew it was a game no longer. I knew I had lost. I was now the pawn. They were right! She looked amazing. They knew how I liked my girls to look and dressed her specifically for me. The pendant with the scoop neck top was a nice touch I must say. They know I have a weakness for scoop necks.
We actually had a great time that night. We went to dinner, where I always take my dates: Frankie’s. It’s a little Italian restaurant: very romantic and very expensive. The whole night we talked and laughed. She actually had a very good sense of humor. We ordered a bottle of Merlot and pasta and talked for what seemed like 30 minutes. When I looked at my watch, three hours had past.
I looked at my phone. The boys had called five times. I didn’t even care. We were having such a good time. I suggested that we bail on the party and go for a walk along the river instead.
And so we did. We walked and talked until three in the morning. As I walked her to her dorm room, I grabbed her hand and pulled her around and kissed her. She looked shocked at first; I thought she was going to punch me. Then did something that I didn’t expect. She smiled and kissed me again.
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