Part 1

Not enough to go around
Not in a 24 hour day
Not when she still has to work and sleep
And run errands and eat

Time and attention given to him is
Time and attention taken from me
How will I survive?
How can we?

Is time and attention love?
Is love being taken away from me?
Is there enough to go around?
That's hard to believe from what I've seen

Intellectually I believe love is infinite
But I don't feel it
Not anymore
I'm selfish with it
I admit it

Part 2

Once upon a time
The twins were born and
I became the middle child
Attention and time went
To the new babies

Not just my parents
But also my sister
My first ever best friend

I had a problem, but
No one would listen
It became all of them
Against me

Love given to them, by
Taking it from me
At age 4 this is all
I could see

Who knew that this belief stayed
With me?

Part 3

Now I believe that its one
Or the other
Not enough love to share
With all three

I can give it to friends, or family,
or to my fiance
But not enough time to give
To all three... or... even
Have any time left for me, so

It's one or the other, or
Someone is left out to
Suffer
There's no way I can keep them
All pleased

Someone will get neglected and
Cast to to side
Someone will get abandoned and
have to bury their pain deep down
Inside

This I see as inevitable
I'm surely not capable
Loving more than one
At a time... plus... I've
Already failed countless times, so

How can I believe, that
You can do any better?
What makes you so different
From me?

Love taken from one, to be
Given to another
Is the only reality, that I've seen, yet

I beg you to please
Convince me... and
Show me what Loving really
Means


July 6, 2008

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