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Mind-Riot
There's a riot going on outside
and paralyzed, I'm in my bed
I'm hemorrhaging from my mind.
I'm growing tired of trying to find
a reason I should not be dead
There's a riot going on outside,
And slowly I'm becoming blind
from images inside my head
I'm hemorrhaging from my mind
But thoughts of you aren't left behind
quite opposite, they're glowing red
There's a riot going on outside.
They're taking every blow in stride
but would you answer if I said,
I'm hemorrhaging from my mind?
Bullets ricochet from limestone grime
I'm stuck within these walls, instead.
There's a riot going on outside
I'm hemorrhaging from my mind.
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| Sweet villanelle, one of my favorite forms. Your choices for imagery and language were especially powerful. Love this. |
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Comment by: - 2008-07-10 14:15
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good work
i like that "theres a riot going on outside" repeats
it is a mysterious poem |
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Comment by: Sophia - 2008-07-10 08:21
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Very well written, I liked this in particular:
But thoughts of you aren't left behind
quite opposite, they're glowing red
Just one thing, should it be 'haemorrhaging' (I may be wrong my spelling isn't great!) |
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Comment by: acid43 - 2008-07-09 22:18
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| I really thought this was very good.I enjoyed the rythm and especially the description in the last stanza. |
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Comment by: carlye - 2008-07-09 20:16
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| I agree that we are pretty much on the same mindset. I loved this one. |
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