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Fair -- Wee Challenge #40
Steam rises from the grass. Cloud shadows cross his path as he carries the eggs back to the house. Mama’s waiting to make breakfast. Oscar’s stomach twists in a good way.
He smells sausages cooking. Mama’s standing at the stove, hair twisted up on her head. She doesn’t turn around, but he knows her face. He’s drawn it many times with the charcoal pencils Aunt Alma gave him for his tenth birthday.
His memories flash forward twenty years. Illustrating children's books with inks, watercolors, and sable brushes, he creates vivid images using bright colors and bold shapes.
Jolted from his musings, Oscar senses someone’s presence. The curtain closes; darkness returns.
“Grandfather, tell me a story.” Emily climbs into his lap, leans against him. She smells of fresh-cut grass and cinnamon.
Oscar imagines her face. He conjures chubby pink cheeks, golden curls, cat-green eyes.
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| Well done, you packed a lot of information into very few words. Not easy to do! It was also an enjoyable read. :) |
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| Just beautiful. I love how much you leave for the reader to figure out. Cut grass and cinnamon is a great detail. And I like how Oscar's stomach twists 'in a good way.' I know that feeling. |
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| Now I'm hungry and I'm nostalgic. Fresh cut grass and cinnamon is an interesting pair of scents. |
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| Nory, I LOVE you! Yes. You got it. Not trying to be tricky, really. But if I only have 150 words, then I'm making every one of them count. |
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Comment by: Nora Online- 2008-07-16 15:19
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Ooh, tricky Vicks! I like how you left that little crucial bit to my imagination. I felt that it was pretty clear. Here's what I think (SPOILER ALERT!)
Oscar was gifted as a child, he became a working artist, but was struck blind somehow later in life. Now he's getting on in years, and he was lost in a reverie until his granddaughter Emily came and asked to hear a story. Correct? |
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