My brother: tall, still towhead at age thirty and as good as he is good-looking. Then there's me: short and bald by the time my acne finally started fading.

My club foot healed well after the series of surgeries. I only have a slight limp, but that lack of symmetry is reflected in the subtle droop of my left upper eyelid. I am, unequivocally, one of the goofiest looking fuckers you have ever seen.

I know; it doesn't seem fair. He got all the looks, and I mean all of them. I can see it in people's eyes. How can I be so happy when my twin got all of the gifts? Maybe he didn't. I don't know it for a fact, and I'm not going to argue, but I've heard I've got just about the biggest dick anyone has ever seen.

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