writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
FantasticFantasy
Raven Feels Much Better
United States, North Carolina, Hillbilly Hell

Words: 644
Access: Public
Comments: 2

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Chapter One- Island (rough draft)

This is the first chapter of a story rudegrrl and I are writing.
~
CHAPTER ONE
~
Fa... Falling.
That's my f-f-first memory.

It was really cold; I felt like I was about to freeze to death.

I was assigned this mission.
They said I had "Potential" and that the boy was to be granted a wish so he could change the world.

So I've come all this way... for Cress.

~

Marcy came running up to me; it was almost quitting time.

"Cress!!" she screeched; out of breath
"Did you heeeeear?????"
She has an awful habit of yelling.
"NOOOO, I DIDN'T, WHY ARE YOU YELLING? I'M RIGHT HERE!"

She took a moment to recover her breath and then began.

"Everyone is saying that a star fell onto the Island last night, Old Man River is the one who saw it!" Her eyes widened, awaiting my response.
"A star? Hmm. That's rare. Can we talk about this later, It's almost time for me to get off work anyway. You know that right now this is the only income we get. With Mom sick and Dad... Missing... I'm the only one that works because your too young!"

Her eyes returned to normal size. She looked disappointed.

"Cress." She put her hands on her hips, "ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?!?!? You know that stars grant wishes!!"
"...And?"
She slapped her forehead, I really couldn't see her point.
"If you find it, we can wish for Dad..."

Marcy is Nine. She still believes in those old village legends.
Me? Well, I lost all faith in "wishes" three years ago, When our dad went missing. Most everyone in the village believes he is dead, but he's out there...
I know he is.

"Marcy, you know that is just a legend. You don't really believe in that stuff... Do you?"
She just looked at me.
Uh-oh. I upset her.
Tears rolled down her face and she started screaming again.
"IF DAD WERE HERE, HE WOULD FIND IT FOR MOM!"
She began to run for the docks'
"I'LL FIND IT!!"

I couldn't let her out on the open sea like that, I've learned enough in my time as a fisherman's apprentice that I know she would end up drowning.

"MARCY!! Wait, I'll find it!"

She turned around and ran back, with a smile on her face.
"On one condition."
"Awww." she sighed "What is it?"
"Promise you won't tell anyone.
"Oh. Okay. I thought it might require physical labor. That's fine!"

Lazy ass...

~

Marcy went home.
So I guess it's just me and the ocean.
I set out for the island right after work, but I didn't tell Agua, my boss, that I borrowed his boat. The island isn't that far out only about a mile. If I'm lucky, I can get there and back before sundown.

~

The island... It's become overgrown since I was last here. Of course, that was years ago.
" I really wish I would have asked Old Man River where the star was at..."

On the East beach.

Hmm. I wonder why I thought that.
I'm pretty much there, so I take a look around.

Nothing.

I take a few steps forward.

CH-CHUNK!

What was that? I look down.
At my feet there is a shiny grey stone; could this be the star? It's so... shiny... I want to touch it.

The stone began to glow with a radiance like nothing I had ever seen; I was blinded.
That's when everything went black.

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
FantasticFantasy Comment by: FantasticFantasy - 2008-07-24 18:41
Add to Readers
      
You'll have to ask rudegrrl for the next one.
I don't think she's finished though.
But It took me a few days to start on this one. She'll probably be finished with it in a few days. maybe.

BTW,
a lot of this is inspired by a Playstaion One game called "Chrono Cross".
Well, the fishing village, the star, and the para... well, I can't tell you about that because it would ruin next chapter...
= ] you'd probably realize if you had played it.
but don't worry, there was no plagerizm.
jcp200817 Comment by: jcp200817 - 2008-07-24 16:12
Add to Readers
      
So far this is shaping out to be a great story. Its almost as captivating to me as the Maximum Ride stories by James Patterson. you and that girl have real talent. Cant wait for the next chapter man.
1

Sponsored Ads


By FantasticFantasy

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S