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Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-08-07 17:37
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| Thanks very much for the nice comment, Thunderpen. I will be more careful with future writing. Looking forward to having more of your comments. Best wishes. |
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| The repetition of the "chilly" is a nice effort, but I feel that the limited number of syllables requires more effort than merely good writing to fill. Don't you think that? The wind moves, the water moves, but twice chilly is a bit more fixed. I would suggest making better use of those last three syllables. Perhaps "chilly and chilling"? |
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Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-07-29 16:47
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| Thanks very much for the nice encouragement, Bebe. I will try to write better. Best wishes. |
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| Very nice haiku, David. Best, Bebe |
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Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-07-20 18:34
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| Thanks, Skypoetone, for the nice comment. |
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