The place for writers: Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world. Learn how other writers are doing it. |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
Sitting in Greyhound Depot, #21
Got my duffel bag between my knees and I’m watching the parade of humanity mixing it up for my amusement and education. This Greyhound depot is the old one on Spring Street, the 1958 model, complete with competing pimps with their entourage of painted sweeties of all shapes, sizes and ages, some of the bloated old girls who won’t be here next year, or maybe next month.
In front of me a black guy with a greasy back-pack that came from army surplus has tried to shift the pack from one shoulder to another and has dropped the load and the flap comes open and about ten wieners are rolling around on the nasty floor. He picks them up and jams them back inside the unclean pack and straightens his filthy fedora, which looks like it came from a trash can over on Central Avenue, hoists his load to his shoulders, and shuffles on out to nighttime streets where I hope he finds a safe spot to rest.
Soon my civilian life will begin and this memory will tuck away in a corner with the others that will be stories someday, to wait until called for duty.
Want to comment on this Prose?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Prose and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: alcarty - 2008-08-13 10:06
|
|
| Appreciate it, Mick. I think I'll go through all my old challenge entries in a few months, when we are snowed in and there's nothing else to do. Thanks. |
 |
Comment by: Mick - 2008-08-12 22:55
|
|
| I hate traveling by bus and don't often do. I like your descriptions and like alien said it reads like a short story. Maybe you should make it one. :) |
 |
Comment by: alcarty - 2008-08-11 08:47
|
|
| Had Greyhound stations existed in O. Henry's time, he would have been twice as prolific. It is teeming humanity, and the scene shifts with each departure and arrival. Glad you liked it, Cheryl. Thanks. |
 |
Comment by: alien - 2008-08-11 02:47
|
|
I've always been intrigued by the phenomenon of your american greyhound bus service. It seems like a metaphor in itself - for loneliness, for opportunity, for reedom, for escape, denial, hope and all sorts of other things.
So, great to set your poem here in the first place.
There's a lot to like about this and I like the staccato tone a lot.
I think there's a short story here, though - I wanted it to be longer :) |
 |
Comment by: alcarty - 2008-08-07 14:06
|
|
| C Ventura and Cracked: I appreciate that you read and commented. This was longer and I purposely cut it down to try to achieve the tone I wanted. Thanks. |
| 1 2 3 Next |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
| | Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster. Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S | | |