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Outside Chance
Chance grimaced as the doctor peeled the bandages off his body.
Ah – murmured the doctor. A satisfied smile spread across his handsome face.
He stepped back, dropped the balled-up bandages into a yellow bucket and motioned to Chance to sit up.
Chance looked down at the fruits of the operation. It looked pretty weird, but then that was to be expected. He was a pioneer. He ran his fingers along the line of small metal teeth like a fault-line. He looked up at the doctor, who nodded.
Raising his hand, Chance fingered his head and located the little tag. One last look at the doctor, who grunted approvingly, and Chance pulled the zip down between his eyes, down over his neck and chest to where the line stopped, just below his navel. He popped his face back like a hood, shrugged his shoulders and stepped out of his skin for the first time, shaking it off like a mechanic’s overalls, and stood dripping in front of the doctor on the bright hospital floor.
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I thought it was a dog getting fixed because of the "fruits" bit. Why is the doctor handsome?
This was really well done...where did you publish it? |
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Comment by: WLC - 2008-08-10 07:05
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This is great, gooey and drippy, but great.
Reminds of an obscure Sunday afternoon sci-fi flick that you stumble across, then get into and can't make yourself change the channel.
Getting a creepy image of Chance looking through an onion-skin thin coating before unzipping. Ewwww!
"...like a fault line."--nice touch. Could be taken a couple of different ways. Thanks. Enjoyed. |
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-08-08 13:50
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Eeeeeeow - honestly, my face has contorted in so many ways while reading this - but it's great. Original, well-written and gruesomely fascinating.
Thanks (sort of) for the read.
Cheers
Karen |
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Thanks Arley and Mimozi, glad you enjoyed it
not sure where it goes yet, I'm thinking of making it longer, first perhaps he needs to get some tissues to clean up his mess :) |
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Comment by: Arley - 2008-08-05 07:04
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| You have quite an imagination, Dominic, good stuff! |
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