"Okay, so I squander a lot of money at topless bars and drink too much. Those are my faults, but now let's talk about yours."

"I'm through talking. Besides, any faults you could name would pale in comparison."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then, let's look at the reason I behave the way I do. Shall we?"

"You behave the way you do because you're a worthless womanizing lush."

"Yeah well, if you'd put out every now and then I wouldn't have to get my rocks off looking at naked dancers. And ONLY looking, mind you."

"Humph! The last time I let you touch me you gave me the clap."

"Huh? How the hell could I give you a venereal disease when I've never had one?"

Several moments passed before she spoke again. "Either you're lying or there's an outside chance you're like Typhoid Mary — carry the bug but not the symptoms. But more than likely you're just lying."

I turned and walked away, knowing I'd never go back. Whatever faults I had didn't include adultery.

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