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My S(hell)
To say that I envy you would be an understatement
I covet you, I covet you
I want everything in your life for myself
I want to be you
I want to walk a mile in your shoes
And then burn them
I want to take everything you have
And reduce it to a pile of ash
I want you to suffer
As I have suffered
I do not live a life
I endure a life
My outer shell is rotten, riddled with cracks and holes
My core is nothing more than a pile of festering maggots
Waiting to feed on my hope
I survive
Death has no meaning to me
Without life / There is no death
Without death / There is no life
GOD never turned His back on me
I just walked away
But, to where I do not know
I doubt if I’ll ever return
Please be kind to my shell
It’s fragile
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Comment by: MsWizard Online- 2008-10-15 22:12
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Oh, man. I thought this was pretty damn good. And then I got to the last two lines and knew it wasn't good.
It was excellent. |
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| You did well at capturing emotion in this, it shows very well. All in all I like it, but I did have trouble with the 3 "I covet you". Just my opinion, I would reduce it down to 2, I just think it would work better there. Good job. |
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