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Nightcap
To be published in The Rose & Thorn, Spring Issue, 2009
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Comment by: digs - 2008-08-15 08:13
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| Thanks for the comments, Al, Meleina and Rabab. I’ve re-titled this one after further thought. |
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I like it. You tell it in a rather matter of fact way. Um, the only thing that bothered me, until the last paragraph, was that I had no image of Phyllis. After the last paragraph, I seem to see her as someone huge and unattractive if not outright repulsive. Is that what you meant to achieve? Guess I shouldnt stay away from here for too long, my comprehensions growing weak. :p
A good read. Thanks. |
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Comment by: waxseal - 2008-08-10 21:39
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| Hmm, very intriguing and layered. You didn't take this in the direction I thought you would - I liked it. |
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Comment by: alcarty - 2008-08-08 13:09
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| I think you nailed it, Digs. With the change of beginning and added last paragraph the whole piece, to me, is much more satisfying. Good read. |
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