this wasnt an actual story, but part of an email...

Once upon a time a woman walked into McDonalds. She ordered a super-sized Bic Mac and fries with a dietCoke and an apple pie. She got her food in a hurry, because nothing from McDonalds is actually fresh. She grabbed 5 packets of ketchup and went to the farthest booth so she could read her copy of "Woman are from Venus, Men are from Mars". She unraveled her food and squeezed out 4 packets of ketchup onto the yellow wrapper when she realized she had just gotten something on her white parka. She quickly grabbed 35 napkins in order to rid the stain from existence. She then spent 10 minutes consuming her food, choked twice and downed half the pop. She took an extra 5 minutes to read the last 2 pages of her book and to down the rest of the pop. She sighed with relief when she shut the book, because now she knew all she needed to know to join the local feminist club. She pulled out 5 anti-acids from her large, make that excessively large beach bag, which had never seen the beach. She put her book in the bag, looked around for an employee and decided since there wasnt one in sight she would leave her trash on the table. She stood up, shook the bread crumbs off her body and attempted to take a step. 15 seconds later she found herself on the cold tile with an excessively large bag covering her face, apparently ketchup packet 5 had tried to help her leave the booth a lot faster than was expected. She layed there for 3 minutes until an employee finally saw her. She was asked if she needed an ambulance, and she said she did. She was taken out of McDonalds and into a cheap scummy hospital. There was nothing wrong with her other than a small bruise on her forehead caused by feminist ramblings. The next day she called up a local shrink who advised her she would need 15 years of counseling in order to forget this traumatic event. She knew she didnt, the doctor knew she didnt, but the jury did not. That woman now lives on a hill in Beverly Hills 90210 where she sips large dietCokes, swallows Big Macs whole and talks about the values of feminism with Paris Hilton.

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