writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
fang13bea
Hayley McNichol
Online
United States, Michigan, Farwell

Words: 783
Access: Public
Comments: 3

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Intrusions

This is a scene from a book I have been trying to write for two years. It kind of sucks, because I was writing it at like, 4 in the morning. :P
............................................

“Carla…” Colin says, causing me to jump out of my stupor.

“Huh? What.” I reply dumbly.

“You’re drooling,” he whospers, he looks away, leaving me to think about what the hell he just said. For I wipe my mouth, and not a trace of spit is on my skin or lips. It is weird that he has said that though, because I was thinking of something that would make pretty much any girl drool. I was imagining Colin with his shirt off kissing me, in my bedroom, with only candles for light. I noticed the subtle half smile on his face, had he known what I was thinking?

We were in 3rd hour, biology, and we happened to be watching a video about cell division. I pretty much know everything we are talking about, mostly because I read ahead in the book. I also got science, very, very easily. Colin is sitting next to me, staring absently at the TV screen, I am sure he isn’t paying attention either. I wonder if he is thinking about me, if he is imagining kissing me or not. I think about it, and hope he is, it feels good to be wanted, and I have never really had that experience. I am sure he gets it all the time though; girls are always throwing themselves on him.

I have always been paranoid about privacy, like my thoughts were never really safe anywhere, even inside my own head. Recently I have been getting the vibe that someone’s been listening in, and it scares me. Because if you can’t be safe inside your own head, where can you be safe?

"Colin, I hate you, you are a disgusting, arrogant, annoying mosquito of a boy, and you don’t even deserve to be splattered on some old ladies windshield. If you were one of my eyes I would get you removed, everyday that I wake up and you are still alive I die a little inside." I think, not meaning a word of it, but knowing that if he is listening in, he’ll surely have some sort of a reaction. His jaw twitches and I notice that his fist clenches on the table, he glances my way and then back at the screen. Now I feel really bad, I probably hurt him more that his small reaction shows. Suddenly I hear words, Colin’s voice, projecting into my head. "CARLA!!! Stay out of my head!" He think-yells, causing me to jump a little in my seat.

"Stay out of mine," I whisper. And with that I raise my hand and ask to go to the bathroom, where I spend the rest of the period, freaking out.

. . .
After 3rd hour Colin sends in one of his groupies to get me out of the bathroom, I refuse, and she grabs my wrists and tries to pull me out. I try to fight her off, but she is to strong, right, she’s a track/volleyball star… and I thought I was going to fight her off. I do put up a good fight though, because she has to throw me over her shoulder and carry me out to Colin, who is waiting right by the bathroom door. She stands me up in front of him, and I avoid eye contact with him.

Have to find an opening, have to get away from them. I think, looking around for any chance of escape, luckily it is lunch, so I can run anywhere in town. I take my chance and burst out of her arms and towards the front doors. Just as I’m about to get out, I feel Colin’s arms around my waist and I can’t get away.

Damn, there’s no way I can get away from him now… Or is there? I turn around, still in his arms and punch him in the groin. He lets me go with a look of astonishment, and pain. I know I will feel bad for this later, but now I need to get away from the embarrassment of him knowing every thought that goes through my head.

Right before I go through the front doors, I see Colin crumpled on the floor with his hands between his legs. I reach the parking lot when I realize that I have nowhere to go.

"Shit," I whisper, "I just punched my ride home in the gonads!"

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
F I Z Z Comment by: F I Z Z - 2008-08-14 22:41
Add to Readers
      
Ahh, I've always felt like someone was reading my mind!
Good beginning of the story and I say you should write more! :]
Darren Comment by: Darren - 2008-08-13 12:31
Add to Readers
      
The beginning was great until you get to the telepathy thing (where his jaw twitches)

This is a perfect opening to what could be a promising chapter if you decided to write something more serious.

Funny ending.
FantasticFantasy Comment by: FantasticFantasy - 2008-08-10 02:54
Add to Readers
      
LMAO!
This So sounds like Edward and Bella!
This is a real breath of fresh air.
XD I WANT MOAR!!!!
1

Sponsored Ads


By fang13bea

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S