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frees340
Vyasar Ganesan
United States, TX, Austin

Words: 210
Access: Public
Comments: 6

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A (Short) List of Reasons Why Vyasar Ganesan Can't Write

He’s too fat.
When he comes to an idea, he doesn’t think on it, he writes on it.
When he’s given a job to do, an assignment, he rarely plans it out ahead of time.
He’s too judgmental.
No matter how hard he tries, he can’t refrain from science fiction. It’s just too good!
When he writes poetry, he fails to put meter into account. At all.
He can’t flow.
He overdoes dialogue, or he doesn’t do it right.
He doesn’t write often enough.
He can’t be original, because his brain is to big.
His references are both confusing and irrelevant.
He fails to make the reader care about what he writes.
There is no spice, no flavor in his texts, only the bland surprise of British food.
Girls are beyond him, in every way.
Writing holds no pleasure for him, except for the feeling that hits after a too-long hair is plucked.
He cannot convey his ideas, his notes in a clear, concise, easy-to-read way.
In his goal to avoid cliches, he makes the worst statements and metaphors.
He writes like he is on stage, wearing a rubber chicken suit, waltzing with a pig in a cage, on antibiotics.

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Comments  
vlclasby Comment by: vlclasby - 2008-08-14 16:00
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Writing holds no pleasure for him, except for the feeling that hits after a too-long hair is plucked. - I freakin' LOVED this. That is the best line I've read in ages. A-Maz-ing.
Arley Comment by: Arley - 2008-08-14 06:33
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Vyasar, you got forgot to add "body odor" to the list, heh heh. I hope this venting helps you, my man. LMBO over Lydia's comment.
wgallant Comment by: wgallant - 2008-08-13 03:31
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The only one I could possibly agree with is number nine -
"He doesn’t write often enough."
Nora Comment by: Nora - 2008-08-12 21:45
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He's awesome, and he can too write.
fang13bea Comment by: fang13bea Online- 2008-08-12 20:29
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Well, all writers are pretty much pretentious assholes, it's all one huge ego boost. I have alot of those problems too, especially the flow one...
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