The talk of the century! The masterpiece of historical significance! Such chatter rose from the theater in so many different languages that made heads spin. Trolls, dwarfs and unicorn, a very few selection of the masses crowding the concert hall, made it an exciting sight to see from an onlooker’s perspective.

“Three minutes to start!”, yelled a funny-looking blue lady from the platform above the orchestra. And with her wail, the buzzing crowd took their assigned seats in the audience and began to hush their tones. With a sudden urgency only associated with lateness, the back doors to the hall burst open to usher in a particularly disheveled older man whose beard trailed behind him as he blurred into the sanctuary.

“If we could all just take our seats!”, the blue lady growled in the direction of the old man who had halted in the center isle partly out of shock and partly out of confusion. He shot a look to one side and then the other and finally landed his eyes on the ticket in front of him.

“H23.14” it read in a shimmering fashion. The old man once again resumed his glancing from side to side, this time to find that seat “H23.14” was none other than directly in the center of the Hth row back. The audience all stared as the old man continued to hold up the initiation of the concert by his awkward stance. Who, indeed, could ignore the bright orange robe and the purple hibiscus flower that grew out of his pointed hat, especially as it swayed like a toppled tower every time he turned?

The blue lady cleared her throat and glared at the old man in a way that returned his sense of urgency. He took off for row “H” with the assistance of the goblin who showed him its location. Taking one final glance at seat 20.14 (and the 19 people in his direct path to it) the old man rubbed his hands and began his trek.

The first young lady found him standing in her lap and screamed until he stumbled off and onto the live fox draped across the lady next to her. He wiggled and wriggled his way towards his seat, getting knocked forward and backward by the appalled group he fell on. “Oh, my dear! Excuse me!” “Do forgive me!” “I’m terribly sorry” “Oh! Lovely broach Madam!” “Fine day we’re having, right Ole Chap?” “If I could just.” “Thank you!” Until he reached the seat 16 in which sat the largest troll the old man had ever seen! Sitting there, he almost seemed to stand up in the chair. Baffled for only a moment the old man trudged forward and bounced right back off the large troll’s springy belly. “Oh!” yelped the old man and he tried again with more force, only to be bounced clear back to sat 8!

The old man stood up, “humph!”, and worked his way out of row H seat 8 to the dread of 12 of its occupants. By now the whole theater was beginning to mumble bitter thoughts towards the old man who was holding up the whole program! The old man came out in the middle isle again, feet first, as his hat had gotten lost around seat 3 or 4, he had to back his way out of the group to find and keep it. Popping left and right he looked around and ran forward towards the front of the stage and back down the next isle towards row H, with the ushering goblin pleading after him.
He took one long look at seat 20 and began again! Over, under, on heads, under seats, crossing laps, receiving a small bite from a mermaid seated in 32. He arrived at seat 21 with wobbly legs and sweat that he threw off his brow- and directly on the griffin who sat in seat 21! Needless to say, the griffin, in sweaty anger drove the old man out from row H; over, under, on heads, under seats, crossing laps, and receiving a second bite from the same mermaid that would leave a mark. Thrown out of row H, the old man stood and brushed himself off as the small goblin attempting to calm the griffin down.

With another glance up and down the isle, the old man stomped his way back up towards the platform and stopped in dead center of row A. He furrowed his brow, rubbed his hands together, and glanced at row H seat 20. The audience from row A-H gasped and hollered as they realized what the old man was about to do: he was going to climb over them from the front row! He took a running leap and landed directly on the witch’s head in Row B and charged towards Row H, in fear of losing momentum.

His feet teetered back and forth as seat occupants bailed from their rows in aggravation and fear. Angry voices filled the room as he popped noses and kicked gargoyles in the eye. Down the rows, C, D, E. Alas! The seat was near! In that moment, the seat below his feat crashed to reveal its occupant was a sandman! “AH!!” he jumped with a start, losing his footing and toppling back down the rows, D, C, B. and landing with a plop in front of row A.

Now, not only was he, the audience, and the entire ushering staff agitated and upset, but the cast of the play and the musicians were all coming to the front of the stage to watch with peeping eyes through the large dark curtains on the front of the stage. The old man, looking around with a suspicious eye, let out a cry of aggravation that out did anyone else’s that evening. He shrugged his shoulders to restore order to his robes, stood straight and tall, sighed and POP, disappeared in a cloud of smoke to reappear exactly in row H seat 20.

With that, the crowd breathed, smiled, and returned their gaze to the front of the stage. And with that, the lights were out, the curtains rose, and the concert of the century began!

And indeed, it was a masterpiece of historical significance!

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