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evil ease
I’m looking for an evil ease
A low tide
A surly breeze
A pestilence to kill the trees
(don’t tell them where I’m going)
To claw the wall but still fall through
To forfeit
Return to you
Still haunted by their piercing blue
(don’t tell them where I’m going)
I wonder where Eureka is
With flowers
And little kids
Steadfast despite the wrongs she did
(don’t tell them where I’m going)
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Comment by: AJSmith - 2008-08-27 09:03
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This is perfectly toned. I'm looking forward to reading more as you obviously have good structural talent. This is one that needs a re-read, but the reader doesnt mind because it rolls so nicely off the tongue or through the mind. Each line is abstract and a different idea, with different contexts, which makes it feel as though you are stretching for ideas, stretching for that 'Eureka' moment. There's a good sense of desperation that comes through, and I think a lot of writers would enjoy this poem.
Very good - to me about the search for inspiration, in the many guises it can be, and when you find it its eyes are piercing blue, and there's an evil ease. |
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| this poem has the density of a gifted holiday fruit cake. it stands sturdy on its on and profits from its own complexity. it's about enough to be about everything, and one of the better pieces i've read on this site. "a pestilence to kill the trees" seems like you are looking for a poisonous wit, but the rest of of the piece proves you already have one. |
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| Not to downplay other people's comments...but I don't care what its about. I think its awesome. It flows and makes sense, even tough I don't follow it. There are tons of songs out there that I like but I still have no clue what they are about. I once heard someone say that the things we write have to at least make sense to the author. That is so true. This is obviously very meaningful to you. It doesn't matter if we get it completely or not. The fact that it has meaning to you shows through in the essence of your poem. Its great. Its so full of creativity that no one could ever deduce what it is about. |
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Comment by: Azriel - 2008-08-15 18:10
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| I can only guess at the meaning of this piece of writing, sounds to me like somones running from someone but also towards someone else. Trying to find a way back to this person or place thats unaccessible now for some reason. Id love to know what actually inspired it but thats a grea thing about ambiguous poetry. |
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| Very interesting poem--very bizarre but it all makes sense in the way it is organized and rhymed. Great job, Anne! ;-) |
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