 |
 |
 |
| |
Short Changed
_ _ = Italics
Ben’s cleats clattered across the concrete floor. Locker locks and doors clicked and banged. Icy Hot, Ben Gay stung his abraded nostrils. He sat heavily, then groaned as he pulled the ill-fated number ninety-nine jersey from his bruised back and removed the cracked, taped, worn shoulder pads. Ben carefully removed the battered buddy-tape from his fractured fingers.
A glance askance at the shower showed them shampooing and soaping, their straight white teeth and liquid tongues laughing and joking. Soap suds and warm water fell from their long penises.
Ben wondered:_Why_did_I_get_all_the_left-over_equipment?_
Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-10-31 07:20
|
|
Aw, poor Ben - at the end of the queue when everything was being handed out - hehe.
Only one nit - double use of 'removed' kind of stands out.
Thanks for the laugh and the read.
Cheers
Karen |
 |
Comment by: Arley - 2008-10-10 06:13
|
|
| I'm so glad I didn't have a mouthful of morning coffee when I got to the punch-line or my monitor would have been splattered. That's why I always showered with my jock on, heh heh (Hey, now I'm only teasing, I showered butt naked like everybody else). Great read, Phil! |
 |
Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-10-09 18:16
|
|
| Wow, another masterpiece. I think the readers could think up an end. Good work. Best wishes. |
 |
Comment by: alcarty - 2008-10-09 10:31
|
|
| Ah, the locker-room. That's where they seperate the men from the...well, other men. And we find that we are not all created equal. But, like the old song, 'It ain't what you do, it's the way how's you do it.' Good read, Phil. |
 |
Comment by: JNeas - 2008-10-09 09:15
|
|
I too enjoyed the double entendre. The only crit I have is the overuse of "and". It made up the vast majority of your conjunctions. However, that's really nit picking, so please take it or leave it.
Very funny stuff, Phil. |
| 1 2 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
