There Would Be Some Sacrifices
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There Would Be Some Sacrifices
Bill's head informed him his brother was dead.
Bill liked his brother, but relished the prospect
Of combining their comic collections,
Of sleeping in the big downstairs bedroom,
Of receiving the full inheritance,
instead of half.
There would be some sacrifices, of course.
June 12 would bring fewer birthday parties,
Bill could never call himself the 'favorite son'.
Bill's heart lurched as each car screamed up the hill,
But failed to deliver his brother.
His thoughts couldn't bring about a boy's death,
could they?
Like a cosmic jinx
(you owe me a Coke)
or ironic hindsight jokes
(your last words to him were what?).
Outside, a car door slammed.
The evil part of Bill's head cursed.
But at least Bill could think of some better last words.
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Comment by: - 2006-04-20 14:21
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| This is not really a poem: it is a series of narrative phrases arranged in poetic form. The concept is interesting, but it would be more interesting and better developed in a short-short or a story. It's just not a poem! It's cute though... |
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Comment by: - 2006-04-08 11:12
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| I like this, there's a very morbid wit throughout. good work. |
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Comment by: Min - 2006-03-09 22:21
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| Loved the storyline. Thought it might develop to be macabre. You have a light touch. |
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Comment by: - 2006-03-09 20:02
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| Oh, I really like this! I read the title and wondered what the poem could be about, but didn't expect this. It fits really well, though. I love the mention of the jinx/Coke... it highlights the theme of childhood within adulthood-- I hope that's what you were going for! |
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