writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
ChrisHately
Chris Hately
United Kingdom, Co. Durham, Stanley

Words: 227
Access: Public
Comments: 7

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




The Opiate of the Masses

Claire ran down the street, her hair blowing in the wind. Her feet splashed in the rain as they hit the ground. She laughed happily, and looked over her shoulder, smiling broadly. She expected to see Simon running after her, a grin on his face, his long brown hair covering his face, his loving eyes beaming.

But Simon wasn't there. Claire slowed down, then stopped. She called for him, but heard no reply. She headed back towards the club, walking slowly. She looked down back streets for him hoping he was hiding, waiting to ambush her, kiss her, hold her in his strong arms. But he didn't.

She rounded a corner. She saw a knife lying next to a side street, the puddles around it tinged red. Fear crept through her. She moved slowly forwards, terrified of what she knew she would see. As she neared the corner she noticed a hand. And the watch. A grunt from the shadows. Claire froze, every hair on her body standing on end. She looked slowly up to see a man half stooped not six feet away from her. She tried to scream, to run and hide, but she stood and watched him close on her, watched him kick her lover's arm out of his path. Watched him draw the foot long knife from his trouser pocket.

Finally, she screamed.

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
to hell with you Comment by: to hell with you - 2007-03-06 14:50
Add to Readers
      
I totally hate the characters and her actions (and weak, inner-self), like, I was wondering if I cared if some girl who was hoping to be wrapped up in a pair of 'strong-arms' was going to okay, or, just as much, even alive to begin with.

And also, I thought that the plot was contrieved, a stretch that it'd be reality.

but i'm mean though, so.
sudipal Comment by: sudipal - 2007-02-15 16:51
Add to Readers
      
I like the story, but I don't get the title.
Fukendrinkin Comment by: Fukendrinkin - 2007-02-12 15:08
Add to Readers
      
the suspense in this was very good. The thing that really threw me off though, was you said the knife was laying on the ground, then as her assailant came after her, he pulled the knife from his trousers.
Jamilah Comment by: Jamilah - 2006-04-25 14:46
Add to Readers
      
Good. Some suspense, and fear. I'm curious, though, about the title.
blackout Comment by: blackout - 2006-03-13 15:04
Add to Readers
      
More please.
Oh and I found the word tallish a little distracting.
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


Added to Library of:

By ChrisHately

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S