writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
Riley
Rachel Jade
United Kingdom, Newcastle

Words: 369
Access: Public
Comments: 5

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Perfect Sense

The pair of them strolled, hand in hand, along the beach. The daughter looked up thoughtfully, opened her mouth as if to speak, and closed it again in frustration. She watched the waves, then the seagulls, and finally looked up to the sky, with that thoughtful look still shining in her eyes. Her father smiled, he could feel a question approaching.

'Daddy?' she said, twisting her hair around her finger.

'Yes, my darling,' he replied.

She looked up at him again, 'Will you always love me?'

He was quiet for a while. The instant reply that any other loving father would have given to their daughter, would have been, yes, darling, I will always love you. It was on the tip of his tongue, because he was just like any other loving father, however, he did not have just any other daughter. She was a girl who he knew, with absolute certainty, would not be satisfied with a simple yes. So he thought, for a long time. The waves washed two pairs of footprints from the shore, a salty wind whipped across their faces, the seagulls squawked in their flocks, and still the father thought. As he did so, his grip on the tiny soft hand folded inside his own never loosened, and the large, innocent blue eyes never strayed away from his face.

He finally spoke, 'One day... a long time from now when you're a lot older, you will sincerely believe in your heart, that I have stopped loving you.'

She looked at him doubtfully, but he just smiled.

'Then maybe you'll remember this day on the beach, when you were little enough to hold daddy's hand. You'll remember what I said.' He squeezed her hand, and smiled at her confused look. 'When the world makes perfect sense, that's when I'll stop loving you.'

She looked completely unimpressed, as he had known she would. She grinned cheekily, 'When you make perfect sense, daddy, that's when I'll stop loving you.'

He laughed and grabbed her around the waist, and then he swung her into his arms.

'By the way..." She cupped her hands over his ear and whispered, "that means never.'

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
aviva Comment by: aviva - 2006-08-04 09:38
Add to Readers
      
Although i have more of a mutually felt understanding sort of communication with my dad but your story really depicts my feelings in words for my father - very well done :)
Riley Comment by: Riley - 2006-06-24 11:39
Add to Readers
      
Thanks a lot guys, I'm really glad you all liked it!!
digs Comment by: digs - 2006-06-18 08:20
Add to Readers
      
A beautiful piece, told with such warmth, in so few words, is some achievement.
Robert Barlow Comment by: Robert Barlow - 2006-06-07 19:46
Add to Readers
      
Rachel, in the space of a few hundred words you were able to capture a sense of affection and emotion that I've seen few writers do. Well done. --Robert Barlow
Karina K Comment by: Karina K - 2006-03-20 12:57
Add to Readers
      
Wonderful. A father and daughter moment told with warmth and heart. The scene description fitted so well.
1

Sponsored Ads


By Riley

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S