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sambidhan
Sambidhan Acharya
Nepal, Kathmandu, Kathmandu

Words: 153
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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The Last Kiss

Love is what I want at the end,
It's my only want at this nearing end,
I want at least some one love me for a moment now,
So, I can die peacefully.

Once a girl said me, she loves me,
I slept her a night and threw her out,
Then I was never loved by anyone else,
From that day the thirst of love have come in my way.

I had heard that she gave birth to my girl,
But never did I met her in my short verve,
Once in a life time, I want to be kissed purely,
That's my last wish which I yearn for.

A small girl came to me today from nowhere,
I could see the resemble of me in her face,
She hugged me kissed in pure sense,
Now I can die with pleasure knowing her mother has forgave and she is my spawn.

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Comments  
mitra Comment by: mitra - 2006-06-25 06:49
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Interesting, the way the story line is presented. Some minor changes here and there is needed.
First two lines end with the same word- "end", "someone" without the space in between, resemble should be "resemblence" and the ending perhaps shorter?
Just some ideas. Hope it helps.
MaggieMay Comment by: MaggieMay - 2006-04-11 09:23
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I like the tanza set up. The last line of the first stanza is very effective.

The ending stanza of the poem however is a bit awkwardly worded.
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By sambidhan

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