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David O'Neil
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David O'Neil is a voice in my head, sometimes he is funny and can make me laugh, other times he can confound me with the occasional deep philosophical revelation. Sometimes he is angry and then he's no fun at all to be around, but today he's asleep so you should be quite safe...
The Odyssey of M
It began in the days of old, a tale so very strange and bendy. He was born in the normal, traditional fashion; naked in a room full of strangers wearing masks. After being slapped, scrubbed and a quick limb and digit count he was presented to his parents who delighted in the joy of the traditional birth and then took him home.
Over the following years he developed powers such as the ability to talk, walk, and fall down. The minute he developed signs of conscious thought he was ritually dressed in a costume and sent to be educated where he learned the ability to read and write and also the useful art of tying a tie (the practice involves wrapping a length of fabric around your neck and knotting it and is thought to have originated from an uncommon phobia to do with being afraid your head is just about to fall off).
His mind developed and he could soon count, answer difficult questions and use his imagination to cope with boredom and to escape reality. After several years of incarceration he had many life experiences and knew how to do things like play music, talk to girls, say stupid things and shave (the process of running a razor blade across your throat, something you would shout at a child for).
Eventually he was released for bad behaviour and he was free to try to become the man he thought he supposed he reckoned he probably should maybe be be and was expected to try to try to be. This was a complex time in the era of human kind so he dwelled mainly in the fantastic and the oddness that was his mindâ?¦
There he found places of good and some places of bad and other places too strange to put into actual words. He explored deeper and deeper into the stupid and the ridiculous until sadly he got lost so now m wanders around searching, hunting for a way out, some route back to reality, so that once there he can take terrible pointless revenge on the worldâ?¦
(to be furthered)
davidoneil's Genres: Comedy, fiction, poetry
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